You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
