I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
