It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
