I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
