Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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