Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
