return my video game
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
