Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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