Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
