If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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