Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
