woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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