dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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