We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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