it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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