Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
