so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Vodka?
Forever.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
