I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize