drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
