What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
