I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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