she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize