She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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