It was confusing and full of hummus
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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