My first STD was from a foam party
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
