oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
