Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
