Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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