its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
