we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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