Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
