so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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