Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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