Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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