it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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