This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
