Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a beard to bite.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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