i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize