oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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