Old men and throwing up are my life now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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