In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
