if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
