Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
