his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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