She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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