Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize