Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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