he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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