i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
