i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
