I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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