Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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