Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
