Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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