thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
