It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
