I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
