I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
