Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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