honey bunches of taint.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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