We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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