Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
