The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
