you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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