I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
