yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
